We are a generation which has been fortunate to be the most connected in our species' history. The sheer number of platforms available at our fingertips to express ourselves overwhelms me. Maybe that's why I have been content with only Facebook and WhatsApp till now.
But I think even that may change now. Nowadays whenever you open Facebook, all you see is people expressing opinions and people getting married. Although I like to do the former and am ready for the latter (just letting the universe know, in case if anyone is interested 😜) it has started becoming a little unhealthy. Now I am not saying that people should stop posting what they think/believe/agree with (or getting married for that matter). With everything going on in our country, there is no dearth of important topics that need to be debated. It's heartening to see people investing themselves in the really important issues pertaining to our country. The generation before us used to read the newspaper and then comment on the situation of the country while sipping tea. We have more power than them. We post stories, infographics and retweet our feelings while having green tea. But I think we haven't matured proportionately with the advancement of the technology. So the combination of efficient and engaging communication with our still maturing mindsets has whipped up a cloud of toxicity which has started affecting our personal lives.
We have become so Black & White in our views that we have no room for Gray. We can't listen to the others' voice in the din of our loud statements. And even worse than that, sometimes we can't hear the other side because we just don't want to. I remember when I had an assured and stable access to internet (perks of getting a job) initially, I used to love reading news on internet. Now why was reading news on internet more fun than reading it in the newspaper? The difference was the comments section. I used to spend more time reading the comments section than the actual story. Reading people arguing on some controversial story, understanding the mood of the discourse and getting different takes on the same story was what made it more interesting. But now even that pleasure has been taken away thanks to the IT Cells of the political parties and people just verbally abusing each other. During those initial days I had come across an article which implored people to read more literature which actually disagrees with their viewpoint[1]. And that has been my guiding light to arrive at any conclusion on any topic. Spend some time understanding the situation from the other's perspective.
But I think not everyone was lucky to have read that article before they got used to the internet. The biggest pitfall of internet in general and social media in particular is that we usually surround ourselves with people or posts which support our viewpoint. This creates a positive feedback loop where our beliefs get reinforced over time since there is hardly ever any voice of dissent. No one dislikes a post from a friend where you don't agree with the content but we will almost definitely like the post from a friend where we agree with the views. And so everyone thinks that they are right. Sometimes some topics are such that it is almost impossible to decide what is right. But we are in a age where being right is the only option, whether it is an exam or social media wars. A personal example about this is the Sabarimala case. I have been very fortunate to have friends which have a differing opinion on many matters and it is always insightful to have discussions with them. So when the case was being heard in SC to decide on whether women should be allowed to enter the temple against the age old established tradition, I was ready to write about what I felt was right. I had decided to put down my thoughts at night when I would return home from office. I was returning with a colleague that evening and I had a feeling that she would have a differing opinion than me. So I asked her about her views on the topic. She was Team Faith, saying that if an overwhelming majority of people believe in those traditions then we should honour them. I was in Team Equality, where I was of the opinion that those traditions are man made and should be subject to change as per changing times. At the end of our spirited conversation I was still convinced that I am right. I came home and didn't write anything, not because I had doubts but because I was just plain lazy 😛. The next day I came across the editorial page in 'The Hindu' where the columnists expressed differing but equally convincing views on the topic[2]. The 'centre' view in that op-ed created enough doubt in my mind that I dropped the idea of writing on the issue. In this case if you look at the situation from different viewpoints, we can't definitely comment on who is right and who is wrong. Some situations are just messy, we need to understand this and sometimes all we can do at the time is hold on to your views but also acknowledge others' viewpoints.
Currently, based on half-truths, fake news shared somewhere on social media we are ever ready to defend our half cooked beliefs. We haven't got the time, will or maturity to read the source material and then form our views. We don't have patience to listen to others' views. I wish we try to put ourselves in others' shoes more often and not let our views/opinions be a barrier between our personal relationships. It's OK(in fact more than OK) to have a friend who doesn't share the same views, opinions or beliefs. If they have something to say give them a fair chance and if still you are not convinced, you continue with your own views. But we all need to learn to be friends even though we don't see eye to eye on everything.
References:
[1] https://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2008/12/18/how-to-read-books-you-disagree-with/
[2] https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/op-ed/do-all-women-have-a-right-to-enter-sabarimala/article19883956.ece
But I think even that may change now. Nowadays whenever you open Facebook, all you see is people expressing opinions and people getting married. Although I like to do the former and am ready for the latter (just letting the universe know, in case if anyone is interested 😜) it has started becoming a little unhealthy. Now I am not saying that people should stop posting what they think/believe/agree with (or getting married for that matter). With everything going on in our country, there is no dearth of important topics that need to be debated. It's heartening to see people investing themselves in the really important issues pertaining to our country. The generation before us used to read the newspaper and then comment on the situation of the country while sipping tea. We have more power than them. We post stories, infographics and retweet our feelings while having green tea. But I think we haven't matured proportionately with the advancement of the technology. So the combination of efficient and engaging communication with our still maturing mindsets has whipped up a cloud of toxicity which has started affecting our personal lives.
We have become so Black & White in our views that we have no room for Gray. We can't listen to the others' voice in the din of our loud statements. And even worse than that, sometimes we can't hear the other side because we just don't want to. I remember when I had an assured and stable access to internet (perks of getting a job) initially, I used to love reading news on internet. Now why was reading news on internet more fun than reading it in the newspaper? The difference was the comments section. I used to spend more time reading the comments section than the actual story. Reading people arguing on some controversial story, understanding the mood of the discourse and getting different takes on the same story was what made it more interesting. But now even that pleasure has been taken away thanks to the IT Cells of the political parties and people just verbally abusing each other. During those initial days I had come across an article which implored people to read more literature which actually disagrees with their viewpoint[1]. And that has been my guiding light to arrive at any conclusion on any topic. Spend some time understanding the situation from the other's perspective.
But I think not everyone was lucky to have read that article before they got used to the internet. The biggest pitfall of internet in general and social media in particular is that we usually surround ourselves with people or posts which support our viewpoint. This creates a positive feedback loop where our beliefs get reinforced over time since there is hardly ever any voice of dissent. No one dislikes a post from a friend where you don't agree with the content but we will almost definitely like the post from a friend where we agree with the views. And so everyone thinks that they are right. Sometimes some topics are such that it is almost impossible to decide what is right. But we are in a age where being right is the only option, whether it is an exam or social media wars. A personal example about this is the Sabarimala case. I have been very fortunate to have friends which have a differing opinion on many matters and it is always insightful to have discussions with them. So when the case was being heard in SC to decide on whether women should be allowed to enter the temple against the age old established tradition, I was ready to write about what I felt was right. I had decided to put down my thoughts at night when I would return home from office. I was returning with a colleague that evening and I had a feeling that she would have a differing opinion than me. So I asked her about her views on the topic. She was Team Faith, saying that if an overwhelming majority of people believe in those traditions then we should honour them. I was in Team Equality, where I was of the opinion that those traditions are man made and should be subject to change as per changing times. At the end of our spirited conversation I was still convinced that I am right. I came home and didn't write anything, not because I had doubts but because I was just plain lazy 😛. The next day I came across the editorial page in 'The Hindu' where the columnists expressed differing but equally convincing views on the topic[2]. The 'centre' view in that op-ed created enough doubt in my mind that I dropped the idea of writing on the issue. In this case if you look at the situation from different viewpoints, we can't definitely comment on who is right and who is wrong. Some situations are just messy, we need to understand this and sometimes all we can do at the time is hold on to your views but also acknowledge others' viewpoints.
Currently, based on half-truths, fake news shared somewhere on social media we are ever ready to defend our half cooked beliefs. We haven't got the time, will or maturity to read the source material and then form our views. We don't have patience to listen to others' views. I wish we try to put ourselves in others' shoes more often and not let our views/opinions be a barrier between our personal relationships. It's OK(in fact more than OK) to have a friend who doesn't share the same views, opinions or beliefs. If they have something to say give them a fair chance and if still you are not convinced, you continue with your own views. But we all need to learn to be friends even though we don't see eye to eye on everything.
References:
[1] https://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2008/12/18/how-to-read-books-you-disagree-with/
[2] https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/op-ed/do-all-women-have-a-right-to-enter-sabarimala/article19883956.ece
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