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ALONE

I was never a people person
Talking to someone always sounded fearsome
I remember the recesses
when the kids used to play on the playground
And I would be sitting near the window
Watching them go round and round.

Mind you, I wasn't sad
I enjoyed my own company
People never noticed me
And that is how I preferred it to be.

But then, nothing ever lasts long
How long could I have stayed alone?
As the years went by
I made some friends to remember me by.

They were all good souls
Adding to my life some Rock N Roll
They became the reasons for the fun I had
Maybe, life with friends isn't all that bad?

I slowly came out of my shell
Realized new things about me as well
All the while the friend circle grew
The person that was me, was born anew.

I could be myself among my friends
Laugh, joke and speak utter nonsense
It was all in good spirit, they knew
No one started a sentence with "People like you..."

But maybe along the way
I crossed a line sometime, somewhere
Although I never realized this, nor did I get a doubt
But it was evident in the tone of the people I cared about
They started getting irritated, angry and upset
With whatever I did, with whatever I said.

It hurt to see people believing in pretence
Ignoring the real me in the process
I know I am not a perfect person,
I have my flaws, my peeves
But I am also not as bad a person
As some of them seem to believe.

The mistake was from my side
that I never realized
The things I said, the jokes that I made
would ever be considered
more than just a poor attempt.

I have tried not to tempt fate
Reign in my impulses, to be more considerate
But it doesn't seem to work that well
The anger remains unabated on both sides,
spreading like cancerous cells.

So it is time to change again
Embrace the solitude, avoid the pain
Though friends we will still remain
ALONE I am now,
ALONE as I was then...


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